* Warning! Junk mail can be dangerous!

I had a $10 coupon for a chain department store that came in the mail. It was about to expire so I went to the mall to shop.  Now I never shop at the mall. I really don’t like shopping all that much period. I know that those coupon’s are just a way to get you into the store. But I put my coupon in my purse and determined ahead of time that I will stick to my plan of action: buy 1 or 2 items, perhaps a blouse, maybe some socks, take a quick general look through out the store and get out of Dodge with the budget still in tact. I don’t want a talking to from the man of the house about spending too much money again.

I arrive and begin my search starting around the perimeter of the store to my right.  About middle way some items catch my eye and I stop to browse and select a few things in my size.  Continuing on and I come to the shoe section and I skip right over the new stock of regular priced items and head for the discount shelf.  Oh the cutest little pair of sneakers, in my size too, covered in graphic art in loud colors and some bling. But I decide they are way too young for me.  Don’t want to embarrass my kids.

I find a few more things then look for a dressing room.  In the dressing room, first thing I notice is that I need my hair done.  My roots are way grown out.  It needs to be cut too, perhaps a deep conditioning; looks a little fuzzy. I try on a couple things before I find something that fits right. Darn all that left over Halloween candy anyway.  I ‘m gonna lose a few pounds this year if it kills me.  I know, I’ll see about getting a membership at that new women’s exercise place by the hair salon.  The next 3 items look great and I can’t decide which ones I like the best so I decide I’ll get all 3 because after all I have that coupon.

I start meandering towards the check out when I see another discount rack of things in my size.  Such pretty colors out this season! I don’t think I have any of those colors in my closet at all.  I pick out a few more things and head back to the dressing room.  A few more things fit so nice and it’s so hard to find things that flatter a ‘fuller’ figure.  Well I don’t shop often and these will go nicely with the 3 blouses I already have. 

I finally make it to the checkout and hand my coupon and debit card over to the sales girl who hands the coupon back to me because it expired yesterday. Arrrggg…… what to do? Well I just spent all that time finding all this stuff I can’t just walk out now can I ?  I pay for it and start digging in my purse for my phone.  I look up the hair salon number and call for an appointment. Good news! She has an opening later today.  I tell her I want the works, color, conditioning, cut….and heat up the wax.  My mustache is showing, and let’s get the eyebrows too ok? Pedicure, manicure, you have time for that today too?  Sure why not, great!  I’ll come early in case you can get me in sooner.

I drive toward the salon and stop by that new women’s gym, they have the greatest work out equipment you’ve ever seen. It’s just amazing the things they come up with these days to keep us looking good.  Membership? You bet give me the platinum package honey, I just came from shopping at the mall!

That evening I arrive home with a bag of take out for dinner because I didn’t have time to cook with shopping and all.  Honey Bears BBQ, a favorite of the man of the house.  Good thing too, because I don’t think he’ll notice my new hair do, or my fuzz free face.  He’ll pay no attention what so ever to my pink nails or smooth heels.  He will notice the shopping bags, and I’m hoping the delicious aroma from the little one will make him forget to ask me how I spent my day. :)

So you see, those coupons that come in the mail, hold them by one corner and watch it carefully as you carry it to the nearest trash receptacle. Dispose of it quick because one trip to the mall could cost you more money in ways you can’t even see coming.

* This post first appeared at Family Home & Life.